Anatomy of a work call

Involving one fish, two children, a freezer, two ice creams, two koki pens, several sharp sticks, one harassed mother and the neighbours kids... oh, and the client listening in on the other side of the line. Hmm.

Never take client calls when your small kids are home. Ever. Yup, and do I listen to my own advice?

So Anja called to run through the project list. Enter two kids who want ice creams.

> You can have them after supper if you are good and leave me alone. I AM TALKING on the phone.
>>> Ok mommy
Silence. I get through the first three items, and find a florist in Observatory, confirm the panel van hire for this Friday through a new supplier after confusion with Avis, and start on the NGO sponsor drives for the Argus. 

>>> Mommy, Jessica's holding the fish!  
Says a small and very wet boy. 
I leap to my feet and race into the kitchen to find my handbag swimming on the kitchen counter, the fish looking shell-shocked and in need of mouth to gill, my daughter backing away surreptitiously wiping her hands on her leggings, and water everywhere. 

> Hold on! Just one second...

Politely, with phone carefully laid on an island in the midst of the Flood.  A bit louder...

> WHAT WERE YOU DOING? No, I don't want explanations. Not at all. Outside, now!  No, I don't care if your sleeve is wet Luke, outside! You don't pick up the fish.

Grab dishcloth and start mopping, and checking frantically for my iphone which was inside my bag. Whew, at least it's in the study. Mop a few more rivers down the side of the cupboard, discover another ocean on the floor...


Sounds of giggling when I pick up the phone and an offer to call me back. I discover the new plastic fish in the fishbowl (synonym for ex-salad bowl)

> No, it's fine, I'm under control.

Fine, lying through my teeth as I carry on mopping.Start on the next part of the cycle tour and the need for graphic designers who can freelance. Turn around...

> What is on your face?! Jessica, you know you are not allowed to draw on Luke's face with koki! Er, Anja, you were saying?

Grab kokis and hurl them into bin. Small girl promptly fishes them out when I turn around. Thankfully the neighbours kids call out, so the two angelic faces (one liberally striped in green - which you cannot see in the pic I took below) take off. Whew, ok, time to finish the call. 

>>> Mommmmm. I got bleed.
> 'k, bye. will be in touch.

The sticks were made into guns to shoot the neighbours kids - and we don't have tv - and now Luke has blood. Ah well. All in a phone call...