Balanced meals - myth or mrs?

Saturday morning. Rain pounding on roof. Incentive to stay in bed, particularly if wiggly offspring can be enticed to vacate my bed. Brainwave. They are old enough to make their own breakfasts. Tell them. Sink back into snowy white duvet, Ahh, They vacate and I listen to happy noises in the distant kitchen. 

An hour later. Surface. Shower. Head for kitchen. Pull out milk. Note that it seems to be down a bit. Look for new bottle. Missing. Hmm. Search kitchen...

Breakfast for two children aged 6 and 7: 
6 Weetbix (2 for her and 4 for him)
1 huge bowl of jungle oats (his)
1 huge bowl of All Bran (her)
2 litres of milk...

TWO LITRES! Argh. Not even teens. Sigh. 

Let's not mention the cheese. Smile. Say cheeeeeeese! "Flash!"

David and Goliath - as told to Luke

There once was a boy named David who lived in Israel. He was a shepherd and spent his days (looking everywhere) for his father's sheep in the hills of this land. David was a brave and strong boy who loved to be outside. Da-add, seen that sheep anywhere? Dang, another one missing! Maybe they didn't like my last song?

But one day David's life changed when the people of his country began to fight a nation of people called the Philistines. They were mean, nasty hairy dudes who ate peanut butter on EVERYTHING.  David's big brothers went to fight in this war, but David remained behind to take of (that means look for) the sheep. O sheepie sheepie, where are youuuuu?

One day Jesse, David's father, asked him to take a bag of corn and some bread to his brothers. When David arrived at the camp high on a mountain. Haphooo, ha-phooo, whew, puff-puff, he found his brothers. Great, there you are, been looking for you everywhere dudes. They ate all the popcorn and munched the sarmies straight away.

On the other mountain across the valley where the Philistines had their camp, stood a mighty giant named Goliath. He was covered in the strongest armour from head to foot. 

(Mom, can't you see he has a gap on his legs? There's no armour there. I would hit his legs with my light sabre! And look, what about his arms??)

Every day Goliath would shout across the valley: Send me a man so I may fight him. But the soldiers stood together and were too afraid (and Goliath smelt really really bad.)

David, who was the youngest and not even a soldier, said to all the men in the camp Why do you not dare to fight the stinky giant?

There is no one strong enough, they all replied. 

I will fight this man, said David, because God is on our side. 

So King Saul tried to give David his armour but it was too big and smelt funny. Like old man smell, so David said No thanks and put his sheep-smelly clothes back on again. 

Then he went to Sportsman's warehouse and found five stones, took his light saber, er, sling, and went out to meet the giant. He nearly stepped in some sheep poo, which would have been bad, 'cos it wasn't even his sheep's doo doo.  Goliath laughed at David who was only a boy. Ho ho ho, ha ha ha. (Through the big rotten black teeth in his big stinky-breath mouth).  

But David swung the sling and the stone went flying out. (Faster than infinity and beyond...)

(And Goliath swung his sword like AB de Villiers and got ready for the new fast bowler. Then David did a clever run up and sent him a spinner.  But Goliath missed, and the stone hit his head instead - though David was aiming for his unprotected legs and arms I think. It's very, very, really, important to keep your eye on the ball, you know.)

Goliath fell down, defeated, and brave David was rewarded by Saul, the King of Israel.

Thanks small guy, that was super cool. Dig your giant bowling technique. Join my personal cricket team....
 

(This story is true to the basic facts, but all exaggeration is claimed by Mom and Luke, 2015. No sheep were harmed, only insulted. All credit to the cool lego images found on Google images). 

Musings of a mid-life mom

"O vrek!"  South African for "oh no" with an exclamation mark. This morning I think I have to share a few things I have learnt about being a mom. Grab a cuppa and laugh at me!

1. Rubix cubes are the lesser known "WOMD" - particularly when a sibling is in sight. 
2. Small boys hate losing UNO. A lot. It's interesting, but they (small boys) can jump quite high off the ground while shouting "IT'S NOT FAIR". 
3. Lice are not your friends. If she scratches her head, get out the deadly stuff. 
4. There are times when it's ok not to be eco-friendly. See point 3. 
5. A lock on your bedroom door is a fantastic thing. Grin. 
6. Time outs are for moms too. See point 5. 
7. You can do a lot in just 15 minutes when the house empties in the morning. Eg: make beds, scrub bath, scrub basins, wipe down kitchen, start the washing, run the dishwasher, throw errant slippers in relevant bedrooms, load the pile of books in the lounge to the teetering height of TM (we're not quite at Everest height yet) and even brush your teeth. 
8. Writing out 10 words and a memory sentence can take an hour. Seriously. 
9. Who knew that moms had to start school all over again and do all the homework a second time? Can't wait to break that news to Jessica. Wa ha haha!
10. An iPhone (or the promise thereof) stops most tears and blood. Instantaneously. Who knew? Who needs a first aid kit unless there really is LOTS of blood?
11. The fish are ALWAYS hungry. I don't need to feel guilty every time I walk past the fish tank and 10 eyes follow me. 
12. The small girl is always hungry too. 
13. Starvation and famine won't push the small boy to eat something he doesn't like. I've tried. 
14. Prayer really does work when hugs and encouragement and everything else doesn't. Go into their rooms late at night and pray about the stuff that's stressing them and you. Gotta hit the root of the problem!
15. Whenever I think I have it all together and lined up, my ducks and kids go wandering off in opposite directions. "Ja well no fine. Hmm."
16. One of the great things to do in Cape Town is to make "snow angels" in the glorious red and orange and yellow oak leaves piled up all over the place in autumn!

And a couple of things I find myself saying quite a lot...

"What part of no don't you understand?"
"No, that's not just 'yes mommy'." Said very firmly.  "That's 'YES, SIR MOMMY!' "

Jessica and pals

Jessica the Katherine, a Feld-girl you see

Has several special friends: Donkey, Tiger and Zebbie

The first is blue, the second full of stripes

And Zebbie has a case of horizontal black and whites

By day Jessica and the “team” play a million games

Chopping and changing like a movie’s frames

Rescuing maidens or ruling the world

Winning great battles with sails open or furled

Queen of them all is Miss J.K. the Dear

Beautiful, courageous with no hint of fear

She’ll tackle a mountain or swim through the fog

Leading her friends as she leaps higher than Frog

One day they went to the land of Motor Car

Where Luke and his race were winning by far

Tiger and Donkey and Zebbie leapt in

And the game was fabulous for all participants did win

They raced round the lounge and under a chair

Then past the table and the cups that were there

Zoomed through the kitchen and down through the hood

A finale in the bedroom saw everyone laughing and good

Late at night, when everything is quiet in her room

Jessica’s still humming a song and a croon

She sings of her friends who make every game and place fun

And dreams of blue Donkey, striped Tiger and the Zeb – three in one!