Dawn is breaking

You can love someone, but still have to let them go. I count the hours
and the days and the minutes. Wishing and praying for more. But words
can sometimes drive you further apart when you express your concern.
So, guess it's time to say nothing. Or just "um".

It's so hard to wake up at 5am and have a knot in your tummy. Or
phone, and have a conversation that actually does not connect hearts
(while the TV roars in the background). The last chat was 3 minutes
and a few seconds.

I've been contemplating "the dash". You know, the one that you find
between "1973" and "2015" on a gravestone. "1973-2015". No, it's not
morbid. But it is exciting. Challenging. Sobering. A celebration. A
call to hold lightly and hold dear. The Book tells us to "live wisely,
not as those who are foolish, making the most of every opportunity"
and to "number our days rightly" and that "each one of our days was
written in His Book, before one of them came to be".

May I number today rightly, oh God.

Kid wizzdom

"Jessica gone" - this a statement of fact after getting stuck inside a
T-shirt while trying to take it off!

And he's ONE!

It's official. I am no longer the parent of a "little-little" person.
Luke has evolved into a crawly Astro-ONE as friend Dave puts it. He's
no longer an AstroNAUT. Seems like yesterday that I had him, and he is
still so much my "baby". He's cuddly and squeaks with delight when he
sees me, powering over as fast as he can on all fours. No wonder my
heart just melts when I see his toofy grins!

I'll post party pics soon, but it was a lovely afternoon at
Kirstenbosch despite the soaring heat. Kids hopped into the little
stream to cool off and we sat next to the dam with Table Mountain
behind us. What lovely surrounds! The Moon Landers, Cheesy Stars,
Watermelon Meteorites, Alien Grapes, Cupcake Planets and Asteroid
Popcorn were all popular, and Mr Lukey liked his cool LOOK LUKE car
cake from Granny and his SPACE ROCKET cake too.

Thanks friends, for joining us and making it a special time!

A thought before bedtime

Caught this snippet off the bottom of a Mountain Club newsletter. Mmm.

Above me are the Alps,
The palaces of Nature, whose vast walls
Have pinnacled in clouds their snowy scalps,
And throned Eternity in icy halls
Of cold sublimity, where forms and falls
The avalanche – the thunderbolt of snow!
All that expands the spirit, yet appalls,
Gather around these summits, as to show
How Earth may pierce to Heaven, yet leave vain man below.

- Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Canto III (1816), line 590

My attempt to make a difference

... ended in "Fok you! Fok you!"

To which I replied: "the same to you too" and then called ADT to come
and patrol the house every so often today.

Sigh. The local bergies have found that we are willing to give them a
sarmie or two when they come past. Old Eric, however, demanded tinned
food from the first. Meat, mind you. Which I don't have. Never have
done. Not even pilchards, much to Adam's sorrow. So eventually I got
to the point that I refused to hand out the food unless they worked
for it. Rake a leaf or two. 30 minutes, if that. One guy went all out
and did the whole lawn so I gave him food and about R35.

Anyway. That's me done. Today Eric threw a huffy 'cos I offered him
baked beans and a packet of soup mix (and I was going to add some
sarmies). "No, I won't work for food. I want money!" To which I
truthfully said I had R5 in my purse and that was it. So he could work
for food or leave. It ended in him shouting at me. So I told him to
leave. He did take the tin of beans. Not bad going for 40 minutes of
sitting around and 5 minutes of raking.

My milk of human kindness now wants a gate up, limited access, perhaps
an electric fence and a stun to the seat of said Eric's ungrateful
pants. And I feel vulnerable. Panic button in pocket. Sigh again.

What would Jesus have done? I was offering some dignity - "the man who
works will eat" and trying to make a difference.

Ja well. need to wipe dribble off the computer now. ciao

Blogging from email

It seems like the easiest way to post to blogger is from email
nowadays. My "wax lyrical" moment just lost it in the frustration of
hitting the enter key a zillion times while hoping that the "new post"
page would miraculously load. What is it with blogger anyway? And, may
I add, gmail? Anyone out there also having speed issues? Well, snail
issues. Grr, sigh.

It is the end of a long two and a bit days. A got a tummy bug and that
wiped him out from Wed to today. He actually lost his appetite (a
horrendous sign) and vomited (death normally would come sooner than
that)... poor guy. Jessica walked around the house saying "Daddy sick"
with a concerned look on her little pixie face:
J: "Talk to Daddy?"
Me: "No sweetheart, Daddy's sleeping."
J: "Daddy sick!"
Me: "Let's ask Jesus to make Daddy better."
J: "Daddy better now now?"

It is great to have my man standing again.

The little boy, Lukester, is also enjoying standing, particularly at
the front door. The second it opens he's hanging off the security gate
making happy noises. In the mornings it's "Come on everybody,
everybody in the car!" and he starts hightailing it to the door, ready
to crawl out the moment it's opened. He aims straight for the
currently limp blue mini-pansy flowers in the raised flowerbed, and
stuffs at least one into his mouth, hoping I won't notice. A bulldog
has nothing on clamped jaws when it comes to removing objects from
Luke's mouth. Small stones or the cracked concrete at the back door
are favourites. Ugh.

Jessica, I know you will probably read this one day, but hey, it's
life so I'm going to mention it anyway. Jessica is doing well at her
potty training. She's got "number ones" down, but "number twos" are
saved for a nappy. Which I don't mind too much. It's just when there
is an accident and I have to sort out the debris. Mmm. Mommydom. The
Jessica-boo is also into her dummy, but when peeved about being
banished to bed, she's just as likely to hurl it at you or into some
dark corner of the room. Which means time out (for the dummy) and
eventually a hands and knees search around the room trying to find the
darn thing. You can tell she is two.

Gotta mention swimming lessons. Her favourite activity is to leap at
you into the pool, after instructing you to "move back, move back" to
make sure that you are deep enough for her to do a giganti-jump. Blue
eyes laughing, whole face lit up. Beautiful little body in motion.

Yeah, and me? I'm oh-so-ready for bed. Hope the kids sleep through
(would be a first). My mommy ears work overtime and I hear every
whimper and cough.

But then, they're so precious to me. Who wouldn't wake up for them?!

Lord, watch over our family I pray.

Our latest newsletter

Well - 'tis late for 2009 and early for 2010, so I guess just the
right time! Gotta be original at times...

Thank you for the day

As the light fades into deep blue
And the first star winks at me
I breathe
(And admire the busy bat who is chasing mozzies that might otherwise have zzzz'd me
At 2am)


The night air settles like a sprinkle of coolness 
On my child-fevered brow
(Will they ever go to sleep!)


And I breathe
Deep blue and a mischievous star

Drawing the curtains

"It's dark, mommy. Light gone. Light gone to sleep."  And so my young daughter describes the coming of night.

A moment to record, to treasure.

New year...

Yum Yum

Food is very important to this munchkin. Tasting, spreading, throwing, eating. Painting. Mushing. Rolling. What have I missed? Strawberries are in.

Christmas angel

Well, Isaiah does describe the cherubim covered with eyes. This is Jessica's version!

Irene and Nicole enjoying the view.

On top of the world!

Irene and Nicole come for the weekend

Irene and her 8 year old daughter came to stay for 4 days - what fun! We were teenage friends and have lots of fun memories of going away, youth group, food fights and growing up together. We met when we were 16 and she is still one of my favourite people! Jessica loved her Auntie Reen, and Nicole (Coley) was followed and watched closely at all times by a little curly top who would LOVE to have a big sister.

We did lots over the few days they were here, and I hope that I have convinced her that CT is a great place to live. The weather was magnificent which also added a sparkle!

It's strange but nice to be mommies together, when we used to giggle over boys and life and all that there was in our worlds so long ago. New things. We don't feel much older now that we did then!

Up TM

It was up the cable car with Irene and Nicole, much to Jessica's delight. She could talk of nothing else for the rest of the weekend! Much to Nicole's despair! Hee hee.

Vic Bay

I had a teambuild that required a night away - the first ever from Adam, Jessica and Luke. The plan was to drive up to George on Thursday (leaving CT at 6pm), spend the night at Vic Bay, do the teambuild and then drive back to CT, leaving George around 6pm again.

Well, the team that I worked with were marvellous, and we left CT around 7pm after a minor combi mishap when the local petrol attendant put petrol into the diesel fuel tanks of our first vehicle. A quick find of a second vehicle, and we were on our way. Lots of driving later (it's a 5 hour drive at minimum), we arrived in Vic Bay at 1.30am, unpacked and fell into bed. My alarm went off at 6am and only the thought of a walk on the beach lifted me bodily! With gritty eyes I made it out of the door to be greeted with a gorgeous beach, the glimmers of sunrise on the waters, surfers' heads shining darkly like wet seals in the waves and the cleanliness of fresh early morning sea air. Deep breath!  The picture almost does it justice.

Then it was up and off, picking up towels at the local hotel, off to the airport to get cars ready and prep for the day. The client was an IT company from Jhb. Their staff were told to pack enough clothes for 2 days, and to be at their offices at a certain time. They knew nothing more. They were picked up, taken to a local airport, put on a plane to George and then sent on an Amazing Race (spanning George, Oudtshoorn and Mossel Bay). Checking in at a hotel at the end, they were going to party all night, go to the Sevens Rugby tournament the next day, party some more and get bodily carried to the airport on Sunday morning to make their flights back (by then they would need to be carried I am guessing).

We checked out the 4 new Nissan Xtrails that the clients were going to be using, and got ready. We were taken by surprise a bit when the flight got in early, but made a grand entrance by driving up in convoy with our lights on. The guys were blown away, and after a quick briefing, hopped in their vehicles and were driven to the first location. During the day they got to ride ostriches, swim across a shark tank, do a labyrinth, taste chocolate, taste wit blits, make cheese, do a 4x4 challenge and a few other activities. They had a blast! 

And so did we! By the time we were done we were toast, to say the least. Thank goodness for the tour guide experience of my drivers (I was the facilitator) as they were used to long distance driving and little sleep. With my mommy brain I was exhausted even though I routinely get up twice a night for Luke to feed.

I must say that I enjoyed my quiet 45 minutes sitting on a farm outside Oudtshoorn waiting for the teams to come in at lunch time, looking at the distant blue mountains, listening to the ostriches, breathing Karoo air. I felt suddenly single, unattached., no responsibilities. It was the strangest feeling.

And it was so good to get back home at 1am on Saturday morning. To see Lukey asleep with his little bum in the air. Hear Jessica snoring away. And to snuggle down into bed with Adam's arm thrown over me, reliving the memories of a crazy 24-hour excursion into a different part of our country with great people and experiences.

Beach time is great!

We took an early trip to the beach this morning. As you can see, Luke is still in his pajamas! With a quick stop at The Olympia Cafe to grab a croissant, we headed down to Boulders Beach for an early morning wander among the penguins and toddlers - this is a favourite beach for mommies as the water is so calm and the penguins so oblivious of the visitors.

Adam looked a little bemused as Jessica tore off across the beach. He and Luke settled down to enjoy the croissant and sand respectively while the girls paddled (darn, that water is soooo cold!) By 10am we were ready to head home and finish off the Christmas gifts in the workshop, and, truth be told, have a nap!

Gotta love public holidays!

Miss Teen 2009

Hoo boy - it's quite the teenager already! Hee hee!

Fireman Luke in action